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Wazoo members - my impressions
MugundaMan
#1 Posted : Tuesday, January 01, 2019 8:24:11 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 1/8/2018
Posts: 2,211
Location: DC (Dustbowl County)
Having been a member for about a year (after 10 years of lurking) these are my impressions of Wazoo-ans of note (so far).

maka: sharp, sober, a little arrogant but generally a good citizen.
tycho: an enigma but not in a good way. Tries too hard to sound smart but his rambling posts betray him. Would be very interesting to meet this chap in person. He is probably 4 ft 3 with a monster tumbo but gentle mien in real life.
hardwood Dependable, smart, forward looking. Hana maneno mengi. When he "speaks" on Wazoo, he has something important to say. But a bit detached and aloof on matters of national interest.
Double A: I am scared to bump into this mama in real life. Most probably pushing 60, rotund with a brash loud voice that grates the ear. Talking to her will be like talking to the wind. You ask her, "So how is your day going so far?" and she will respond with "Panganga yako ni ya nini? But we moved the capital to Dodoma!" Don't respond. Just put as much distance as you can between yourself and her without trying too much to figure out where Dodoma came into the picture.
BigChick: as her name says, ni ka-momo but a friendly one. Catch her on Ngong road in her spandex with headphones huyooooo jogging away year in year out. BUt well respected in the corporate circles in Juja where she knows all the major mucene about who made what money where. If you are a corporate dude in Juja be very afraid.
Gathige Mzee wa kijiji sitting on a three legged stool. One of the most sober and progressive chaps on Wazoo. But I have a niggling feeling that he zero grazes 20 dairy goats behind his manse in beautiful Kiserian. To be sold to kaburus in Karen who consider goat cheese a miracle food.
S Mutaga III As his name suggests, he is the third generation of a long line of well known stock market gurus. He can be spotted near Odeon in his red jacket, brown shoes and godpapa hat eating chips with a toothpick very early in the morning right before he treks to his office at University Way to trade stocks furiously.
Lolest A tall lanky chap with a cheshire cat grin and polite demeanor. Can be spotted at Nairobi chapel leading worship with very vigorous mtingizo juu chini juu chini until his clothes are soaked in sweat. His daytime job is insurance sales. Kafielder ka-brue KAZ is what he is seen rolling in day in day out.
Mukiri This man is not a man you want to meet in a dark alley at night! Toivo is his food 24/7. You wil catch a whiff of Sportsman sigara mixed with it if you are unfortunate enough to be nearby when he opens his mouth. 6 wives and 34 kids. All of the kids are named Boi for simplicity purposes (memory).
Ericsson He used to be "first body" in primo so he carries that confidence wherever he posts on Wazoo. Elaborate discussions are for wimps to him. Everything must be answered with a one liner befitting a first body who can clobber you any time into agreeing with him.
Spikes: The man trades bitcoin from his Tecno smart phone while sitting in his bedsitter in Mwiki. Always dresses sharply in dapper suits when you spot him in town with his briefcase. A woman client of his almost collapsed in mirth when she discovered that there were nails, hammer and other equipment inside the suitcase of the sharply dressed carpenter she had called to come fix her table.
oombalbt: Too trusting. Lends to relatives and relatives fuaaaa and ends up holding the bag.
SuperPrime1 A tall muscular chap with an arrogant air as he traipses through town. Sneers at peons and paupers on online forums who are not as rich as he is. At night retreats to his mabati shack at Mukuru kwa Reuben that he rents. Petty Ngeta is how he makes ends meet.
Wukan: Walks with a little bit of a gay swing but is generally very well organised in all he does. Hates dust with a passion. Writes long reports for Cytonn about billion shilling skyscrapers. But owns nothing. A stereotypical talker, zero action.
Sparkly Usimuone hivi hivi this man is a big shot businessman who gambles on NSE for the heck of it. Usiku find him at Rafikiz with two leggy slay queens buying rounds of Johnny Walker like it was nothing to him while mama watoto eats sukuma with sembe plain, no meat.
ngogoyo: A short slim lady who likes knitting home alone to pass time.
Obiero Phd, Esq, MBA, Fil.Cons, Wandex online owner bululu twafff! This is another silent killer. Do not let the big empty digiriris fool ya. Kanjamaa kana blocks of flats littered all over South B, dustbowl and beyond. Ukali nayo? Can slash you juu chini with a panga if you leta nyoko nyoko. Tread carefully when around him.
Pablo: After he spilled the beans on the construction industry, he became a marked man. Hiding away in Bagamoyo TZ after he received death threats. This is why kamepotea kabisaaaa.
A4aarchitect: Was a humble dude offering free mawaidhas while his office was in Kinoo. After he made his first 50m he upgraded in Karen and silly wazoo and its cheap discussions all of a sudden were beneath him. Still lurks through Wazoo once in a blue moon on the dash screen of his S-class while in Ngong road traffic
Shak Works for Physical planning office at Nairobi County HQ. The go to guy when you need to get approvals for your mbao hen house.
Swenani: Humble mzito with a sense of humour. Another one you should not underestimate. But loves the bottle and slay queen a litro too much.
mawinder: Half karashinga with very informative posts. Rumoured to be connected to the underworld
young Millenial in a hurry to get ahead. Asks all the right questions but a little bit naive. Time should sort him out.
tom_boy: A butch girl who likes yellow yellow tumatunda girlies. Can angusha vodka like any man, belches and all
maundiwambeu A harmless looking but dangerous man. Huyu njamaa made hay while the sun shone while he was in ngava. Quietly retired in his sprawling 60m 12 room manse on Kangundo road. Is always spotted near Harambee house trying to get someone to hook him back on the tenders gravy train for old times sake.
Alpha-doti Mkosti with rags on his head always heading huyooo to Jamia Mosque. His favourite book is the Christian Bible. Has a neglected camel farm in Garissa but since his cousin is Duale he would rather stick in Nairofi and piga gumzo about nothing under a grevillea tree with his fellow waisilamu.
tony_stark: One of the most interesting cheps on Wazoo. This man had been deported from Belgium about a decade ago. Nobody knows what he does for a living. Matusi nayo? Expert ni yeye. He learned the hard way while dealing drugs in Brussels rough streets. Speaks french fluently and always bears baggy jeans and shades. His hero is Jowie. Frequently seen at Kiza.

Na gama yako haiko haiko
Hizi ni maoni yangu tu!
hardwood
#2 Posted : Tuesday, January 01, 2019 9:01:18 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 7/28/2015
Posts: 9,562
Location: Rodi Kopany, Homa Bay
An excellent analysis on wazoo residents. I am flattered that my image in the wazoo republic is up there aka excellent. I have to say it is the same in the real world. I agree with your very thoughtful analysis 100%.

Also happy to see that I appeared as No 3 in your analysis which is a reflection of the impact I have on the forum. I am really humbled.
young
#3 Posted : Tuesday, January 01, 2019 10:29:02 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 6/20/2007
Posts: 2,033
Location: Lagos, Nigeria
MugundaMan wrote:
Having been a member for about a year (after 10 years of lurking) these are my impressions of Wazoo-ans of note (so far).

maka: sharp, sober, a little arrogant but generally a good citizen.
tycho: an enigma but not in a good way. Tries too hard to sound smart but his rambling posts betray him. Would be very interesting to meet this chap in person. He is probably 4 ft 3 with a monster tumbo but gentle mien in real life.
hardwood Dependable, smart, forward looking. Hana maneno mengi. When he "speaks" on Wazoo, he has something important to say. But a bit detached and aloof on matters of national interest.
Double A: I am scared to bump into this mama in real life. Most probably pushing 60, rotund with a brash loud voice that grates the ear. Talking to her will be like talking to the wind. You ask her, "So how is your day going so far?" and she will respond with "Panganga yako ni ya nini? But we moved the capital to Dodoma!" Don't respond. Just put as much distance as you can between yourself and her without trying too much to figure out where Dodoma came into the picture.
BigChick: as her name says, ni ka-momo but a friendly one. Catch her on Ngong road in her spandex with headphones huyooooo jogging away year in year out. BUt well respected in the corporate circles in Juja where she knows all the major mucene about who made what money where. If you are a corporate dude in Juja be very afraid.
Gathige Mzee wa kijiji sitting on a three legged stool. One of the most sober and progressive chaps on Wazoo. But I have a niggling feeling that he zero grazes 20 dairy goats behind his manse in beautiful Kiserian. To be sold to kaburus in Karen who consider goat cheese a miracle food.
S Mutaga III As his name suggests, he is the third generation of a long line of well known stock market gurus. He can be spotted near Odeon in his red jacket, brown shoes and godpapa hat eating chips with a toothpick very early in the morning right before he treks to his office at University Way to trade stocks furiously.
Lolest A tall lanky chap with a cheshire cat grin and polite demeanor. Can be spotted at Nairobi chapel leading worship with very vigorous mtingizo juu chini juu chini until his clothes are soaked in sweat. His daytime job is insurance sales. Kafielder ka-brue KAZ is what he is seen rolling in day in day out.
Mukiri This man is not a man you want to meet in a dark alley at night! Toivo is his food 24/7. You wil catch a whiff of Sportsman sigara mixed with it if you are unfortunate enough to be nearby when he opens his mouth. 6 wives and 34 kids. All of the kids are named Boi for simplicity purposes (memory).
Ericsson He used to be "first body" in primo so he carries that confidence wherever he posts on Wazoo. Elaborate discussions are for wimps to him. Everything must be answered with a one liner befitting a first body who can clobber you any time into agreeing with him.
Spikes: The man trades bitcoin from his Tecno smart phone while sitting in his bedsitter in Mwiki. Always dresses sharply in dapper suits when you spot him in town with his briefcase. A woman client of his almost collapsed in mirth when she discovered that there were nails, hammer and other equipment inside the suitcase of the sharply dressed carpenter she had called to come fix her table.
oombalbt: Too trusting. Lends to relatives and relatives fuaaaa and ends up holding the bag.
SuperPrime1 A tall muscular chap with an arrogant air as he traipses through town. Sneers at peons and paupers on online forums who are not as rich as he is. At night retreats to his mabati shack at Mukuru kwa Reuben that he rents. Petty Ngeta is how he makes ends meet.
Wukan: Walks with a little bit of a gay swing but is generally very well organised in all he does. Hates dust with a passion. Writes long reports for Cytonn about billion shilling skyscrapers. But owns nothing. A stereotypical talker, zero action.
Sparkly Usimuone hivi hivi this man is a big shot businessman who gambles on NSE for the heck of it. Usiku find him at Rafikiz with two leggy slay queens buying rounds of Johnny Walker like it was nothing to him while mama watoto eats sukuma with sembe plain, no meat.
ngogoyo: A short slim lady who likes knitting home alone to pass time.
Obiero Phd, Esq, MBA, Fil.Cons, Wandex online owner bululu twafff! This is another silent killer. Do not let the big empty digiriris fool ya. Kanjamaa kana blocks of flats littered all over South B, dustbowl and beyond. Ukali nayo? Can slash you juu chini with a panga if you leta nyoko nyoko. Tread carefully when around him.
Pablo: After he spilled the beans on the construction industry, he became a marked man. Hiding away in Bagamoyo TZ after he received death threats. This is why kamepotea kabisaaaa.
A4aarchitect: Was a humble dude offering free mawaidhas while his office was in Kinoo. After he made his first 50m he upgraded in Karen and silly wazoo and its cheap discussions all of a sudden were beneath him. Still lurks through Wazoo once in a blue moon on the dash screen of his S-class while in Ngong road traffic
Shak Works for Physical planning office at Nairobi County HQ. The go to guy when you need to get approvals for your mbao hen house.
Swenani: Humble mzito with a sense of humour. Another one you should not underestimate. But loves the bottle and slay queen a litro too much.
mawinder: Half karashinga with very informative posts. Rumoured to be connected to the underworld
young Millenial in a hurry to get ahead. Asks all the right questions but a little bit naive. Time should sort him out.
tom_boy: A butch girl who likes yellow yellow tumatunda girlies. Can angusha vodka like any man, belches and all
maundiwambeu A harmless looking but dangerous man. Huyu njamaa made hay while the sun shone while he was in ngava. Quietly retired in his sprawling 60m 12 room manse on Kangundo road. Is always spotted near Harambee house trying to get someone to hook him back on the tenders gravy train for old times sake.
Alpha-doti Mkosti with rags on his head always heading huyooo to Jamia Mosque. His favourite book is the Christian Bible. Has a neglected camel farm in Garissa but since his cousin is Duale he would rather stick in Nairofi and piga gumzo about nothing under a grevillea tree with his fellow waisilamu.
tony_stark: One of the most interesting cheps on Wazoo. This man had been deported from Belgium about a decade ago. Nobody knows what he does for a living. Matusi nayo? Expert ni yeye. He learned the hard way while dealing drugs in Brussels rough streets. Speaks french fluently and always bears baggy jeans and shades. His hero is Jowie. Frequently seen at Kiza.

Na gama yako haiko haiko
Hizi ni maoni yangu tu!


No worries purely an exception from @Mugundam opinion.
99% of others hold contrary view
But @Mugundaman be a little bit civil and be careful with your words especially on old folks like me so that it does not degenerate to insult. Respect is mutual and should be accorded to whom it is due.
I have always been mindful and careful of my words over several years in this forum. Learn and be wise. Thanks
The wazua spirit as members is to educate and inform and learn from others within the limit of what we know in any chosen area irrespective of our differences in tribes, nationalities, etc. .
MugundaMan
#4 Posted : Wednesday, January 02, 2019 4:35:25 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 1/8/2018
Posts: 2,211
Location: DC (Dustbowl County)
young,
I should have added to your profile that you take yourself a little too seriously Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
Relax my broda, this was a humour piece!
Spikes
#5 Posted : Wednesday, January 02, 2019 8:41:33 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 9/20/2015
Posts: 2,811
Location: Mombasa
hardwood wrote:
An excellent analysis on wazoo residents. I am flattered that my image in the wazoo republic is up there aka excellent. I have to say it is the same in the real world. I agree with your very thoughtful analysis 100%.

Also happy to see that I appeared as No 3 in your analysis which is a reflection of the impact I have on the forum. I am really humbled.


..."I appeared as no.3 ...reflection of the impact"...
Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
John 5:17 But Jesus replied, “My Father is always working, and so am I.”
Lolest!
#6 Posted : Wednesday, January 02, 2019 9:09:21 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 3/18/2011
Posts: 12,068
Location: Kianjokoma
Spikes wrote:
hardwood wrote:
An excellent analysis on wazoo residents. I am flattered that my image in the wazoo republic is up there aka excellent. I have to say it is the same in the real world. I agree with your very thoughtful analysis 100%.

Also happy to see that I appeared as No 3 in your analysis which is a reflection of the impact I have on the forum. I am really humbled.


..."I appeared as no.3 ...reflection of the impact"...
Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly

Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
Laughing out loudly smile Applause d'oh! Sad Drool Liar Shame on you Pray
Lolest!
#7 Posted : Wednesday, January 02, 2019 9:11:41 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 3/18/2011
Posts: 12,068
Location: Kianjokoma
@mugundaahLaughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
Told you you're gifted in strating threads. Good laugh for first workday 2019

I've laughed, really laughedLaughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
Laughing out loudly smile Applause d'oh! Sad Drool Liar Shame on you Pray
wukan
#8 Posted : Wednesday, January 02, 2019 12:17:25 PM
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 11/13/2015
Posts: 1,525
Zema @mugundaman, thank you for the brand recognitionLaughing out loudly Laughing out loudly . Yup i'm super-organized just held meeting with my team to agree on strategy for 2019, to set calendar of event and targets for the year.

Yaani you guy my guy, you didn't go on vacation, I see you were doing tanga tanga manenoz on wazua.(gay swingsmile )

Habari ya dustbowl? naona ni njaa mingi

Quote:
Several people were on Tuesday injured at Kitengela, Kajiado County following a stampede that occurred while they were scrambling for food donated to them for New Year celebrations.

The foodstuff was donated to them by the Kajiado Governor Joseph Ole Lenku.
Trouble started immediately after Governor Lenku left the area after distributing a small portion of the food.
Armed police officers who were deployed to oversee the distribution excises, watched helplessly, as hundreds of men and women started fighting for the food.
https://www.standardmedi...kitengela-food-stampede


Na shida ya maji pia
Quote:
An artificial water shortage continues in Kitengela Township in Kajiado County and its environs, as unscrupulous water vendors mint millions to the chagrin of thirsty locals.

Residents have been grappling with water scarcity for the last one year. The problem has, however, escalated during this Christmas season.

Salty borehole water vendors have their fair share of the market, but fresh water vendors from Nairobi have taken the dusty town by storm. Water tankers from Nairobi are all over Kitengela Township, making a killing from hawking the much-needed commodity.
https://www.businessdail...1654-13pqdu1/index.html


Happy new year 2019. This year we have to get you out the dustbowl
MugundaMan
#9 Posted : Wednesday, January 02, 2019 2:41:18 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 1/8/2018
Posts: 2,211
Location: DC (Dustbowl County)
wukan wrote:
Zema @mugundaman, thank you for the brand recognitionLaughing out loudly Laughing out loudly . Yup i'm super-organized just held meeting with my team to agree on strategy for 2019, to set calendar of event and targets for the year.

Yaani you guy my guy, you didn't go on vacation, I see you were doing tanga tanga manenoz on wazua.(gay swingsmile )

Habari ya dustbowl? naona ni njaa mingi

Quote:
Several people were on Tuesday injured at Kitengela, Kajiado County following a stampede that occurred while they were scrambling for food donated to them for New Year celebrations.

The foodstuff was donated to them by the Kajiado Governor Joseph Ole Lenku.
Trouble started immediately after Governor Lenku left the area after distributing a small portion of the food.
Armed police officers who were deployed to oversee the distribution excises, watched helplessly, as hundreds of men and women started fighting for the food.
https://www.standardmedi...kitengela-food-stampede


Na shida ya maji pia
Quote:
An artificial water shortage continues in Kitengela Township in Kajiado County and its environs, as unscrupulous water vendors mint millions to the chagrin of thirsty locals.

Residents have been grappling with water scarcity for the last one year. The problem has, however, escalated during this Christmas season.

Salty borehole water vendors have their fair share of the market, but fresh water vendors from Nairobi have taken the dusty town by storm. Water tankers from Nairobi are all over Kitengela Township, making a killing from hawking the much-needed commodity.
https://www.businessdail...1654-13pqdu1/index.html


Happy new year 2019. This year we have to get you
out the dustbowl


Wukan,
Happy new year buddy!



Very funny @ the news clips. Remember for every bizarre storo you dig up about beautiful dust bowl, I can dig up 5 about your hood
Laughing out loudly

Likizo is ev-a-ree-day for me baba. So is work. In fact I am working right now as I prate on to you hapa Wazoo. 2019 will be another fantastic year for dustbowl. Watch and gnash teeth when you hear where ground zero of big 4 housing will be, during upcoming launch 🎊 Laughing out loudly
tycho
#10 Posted : Wednesday, January 02, 2019 6:30:21 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 7/1/2011
Posts: 8,804
Location: Nairobi
The impression you create in your mind is often disguised by the expression.

So you probably fear that @tycho is a titan in the classical sense.

Lightning, then a ramble of thunder.

smile BTW, what's @Mugunda's impression of himself? Hebu mweke kwa list...
MugundaMan
#11 Posted : Thursday, January 03, 2019 8:47:49 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 1/8/2018
Posts: 2,211
Location: DC (Dustbowl County)
tycho wrote:
The impression you create in your mind is often disguised by the expression.

So you probably fear that @tycho is a titan in the classical sense.

Lightning, then a ramble of thunder.

smile BTW, what's @Mugunda's impression of himself? Hebu mweke kwa list...



Short, fat, balding man with big Naija jaws and a heavy Rick Ross beard and shades who, according to several sources on Wazoo, partitions and hawks dustbowl plots in the middle of nowhere for a tidy profit. Like total man Biwott before him (RIP) "nobody really knows where he lives" but rumoured to shuttle between his squalid bedsitter near Kitengela Prisons and the remote wood cabin he is building in Ngatateak that has stunning views of Mt Kili. In his younger days he was a radical revolutionary anarchist complete with dreads, MC Hammer pants, Che Guevara tee shirt, Kenya Army avunjaas and Jomo leather jacket. Time and life has since mellowed him down. Dustbowl ambassador and Kenya mongoose breeders chairman emeritus. Once worked on a black ops project where he saw with his own two eyes a very famous (but recently dead) celebrity undergoing MK-ULTRA shock therapy at a RAND programming lab in Encino, CA. On the run from 7 different alphabet agencies for exposing so called "conspiracy theories" that are fact in reality. Truth is truly stranger than fiction.
Impunity
#12 Posted : Thursday, January 03, 2019 9:13:37 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 3/2/2009
Posts: 26,318
Location: Masada
Click hapa > This was discussed here 10 years ago!

smile smile smile
Portfolio: Sold
You know you've made it when you get a parking space for your yatcht.

hardwood
#13 Posted : Thursday, January 03, 2019 10:02:43 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 7/28/2015
Posts: 9,562
Location: Rodi Kopany, Homa Bay
MugundaMan wrote:
tycho wrote:
The impression you create in your mind is often disguised by the expression.

So you probably fear that @tycho is a titan in the classical sense.

Lightning, then a ramble of thunder.

smile BTW, what's @Mugunda's impression of himself? Hebu mweke kwa list...



Short, fat, balding man with big Naija jaws and a heavy Rick Ross beard and shades who, according to several sources on Wazoo, partitions and hawks dustbowl plots in the middle of nowhere for a tidy profit. Like total man Biwott before him (RIP) "nobody really knows where he lives" but rumoured to shuttle between his squalid bedsitter near Kitengela Prisons and the remote wood cabin he is building in Ngatateak that has stunning views of Mt Kili. In his younger days he was a radical revolutionary anarchist complete with dreads, MC Hammer pants, Che Guevara tee shirt, Kenya Army avunjaas and Jomo leather jacket. Time and life has since mellowed him down. Dustbowl ambassador and Kenya mongoose breeders chairman emeritus. Once worked on a black ops project where he saw with his own two eyes a very famous (but recently dead) celebrity undergoing MK-ULTRA shock therapy at a RAND programming lab in Encino, CA. On the run from 7 different alphabet agencies for exposing so called "conspiracy theories" that are fact in reality. Truth is truly stranger than fiction.


Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
essyk
#14 Posted : Friday, January 04, 2019 10:02:16 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 11/15/2011
Posts: 4,513
ngogoyo: A short slim lady who likes knitting home alone to pass time.

Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly

Alpha-doti Mkosti with rags on his head always heading huyooo to Jamia Mosque. His favourite book is the Christian Bible. Has a neglected camel farm in Garissa but since his cousin is Duale he would rather stick in Nairofi and piga gumzo about nothing under a grevillea tree with his fellow waisilamu.

Thank you for breaking my ribs.. wacha ukutwe sasa.
Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
"The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
Swenani
#15 Posted : Saturday, January 05, 2019 3:01:38 PM
Rank: User


Joined: 8/15/2013
Posts: 13,231
Location: Vacuum
essyk wrote:
ngogoyo: A short slim lady who likes knitting home alone to pass time.

Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly

Alpha-doti Mkosti with rags on his head always heading huyooo to Jamia Mosque. His favourite book is the Christian Bible. Has a neglected camel farm in Garissa but since his cousin is Duale he would rather stick in Nairofi and piga gumzo about nothing under a grevillea tree with his fellow waisilamu.

Thank you for breaking my ribs.. wacha ukutwe sasa.
Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly


Your post is incomplete without quoting mukiri's description
If Obiero did it, Who Am I?
ombaalbt
#16 Posted : Saturday, January 05, 2019 6:53:56 PM
Rank: New-farer


Joined: 5/19/2014
Posts: 68
Location: Migori
MugundaMan wrote:
Having been a member for about a year (after 10 years of lurking) these are my impressions of Wazoo-ans of note (so far).

maka: sharp, sober, a little arrogant but generally a good citizen.
tycho: an enigma but not in a good way. Tries too hard to sound smart but his rambling posts betray him. Would be very interesting to meet this chap in person. He is probably 4 ft 3 with a monster tumbo but gentle mien in real life.
hardwood Dependable, smart, forward looking. Hana maneno mengi. When he "speaks" on Wazoo, he has something important to say. But a bit detached and aloof on matters of national interest.
Double A: I am scared to bump into this mama in real life. Most probably pushing 60, rotund with a brash loud voice that grates the ear. Talking to her will be like talking to the wind. You ask her, "So how is your day going so far?" and she will respond with "Panganga yako ni ya nini? But we moved the capital to Dodoma!" Don't respond. Just put as much distance as you can between yourself and her without trying too much to figure out where Dodoma came into the picture.
BigChick: as her name says, ni ka-momo but a friendly one. Catch her on Ngong road in her spandex with headphones huyooooo jogging away year in year out. BUt well respected in the corporate circles in Juja where she knows all the major mucene about who made what money where. If you are a corporate dude in Juja be very afraid.
Gathige Mzee wa kijiji sitting on a three legged stool. One of the most sober and progressive chaps on Wazoo. But I have a niggling feeling that he zero grazes 20 dairy goats behind his manse in beautiful Kiserian. To be sold to kaburus in Karen who consider goat cheese a miracle food.
S Mutaga III As his name suggests, he is the third generation of a long line of well known stock market gurus. He can be spotted near Odeon in his red jacket, brown shoes and godpapa hat eating chips with a toothpick very early in the morning right before he treks to his office at University Way to trade stocks furiously.
Lolest A tall lanky chap with a cheshire cat grin and polite demeanor. Can be spotted at Nairobi chapel leading worship with very vigorous mtingizo juu chini juu chini until his clothes are soaked in sweat. His daytime job is insurance sales. Kafielder ka-brue KAZ is what he is seen rolling in day in day out.
Mukiri This man is not a man you want to meet in a dark alley at night! Toivo is his food 24/7. You wil catch a whiff of Sportsman sigara mixed with it if you are unfortunate enough to be nearby when he opens his mouth. 6 wives and 34 kids. All of the kids are named Boi for simplicity purposes (memory).
Ericsson He used to be "first body" in primo so he carries that confidence wherever he posts on Wazoo. Elaborate discussions are for wimps to him. Everything must be answered with a one liner befitting a first body who can clobber you any time into agreeing with him.
Spikes: The man trades bitcoin from his Tecno smart phone while sitting in his bedsitter in Mwiki. Always dresses sharply in dapper suits when you spot him in town with his briefcase. A woman client of his almost collapsed in mirth when she discovered that there were nails, hammer and other equipment inside the suitcase of the sharply dressed carpenter she had called to come fix her table.
oombalbt: Too trusting. Lends to relatives and relatives fuaaaa and ends up holding the bag.
SuperPrime1 A tall muscular chap with an arrogant air as he traipses through town. Sneers at peons and paupers on online forums who are not as rich as he is. At night retreats to his mabati shack at Mukuru kwa Reuben that he rents. Petty Ngeta is how he makes ends meet.
Wukan: Walks with a little bit of a gay swing but is generally very well organised in all he does. Hates dust with a passion. Writes long reports for Cytonn about billion shilling skyscrapers. But owns nothing. A stereotypical talker, zero action.
Sparkly Usimuone hivi hivi this man is a big shot businessman who gambles on NSE for the heck of it. Usiku find him at Rafikiz with two leggy slay queens buying rounds of Johnny Walker like it was nothing to him while mama watoto eats sukuma with sembe plain, no meat.
ngogoyo: A short slim lady who likes knitting home alone to pass time.
Obiero Phd, Esq, MBA, Fil.Cons, Wandex online owner bululu twafff! This is another silent killer. Do not let the big empty digiriris fool ya. Kanjamaa kana blocks of flats littered all over South B, dustbowl and beyond. Ukali nayo? Can slash you juu chini with a panga if you leta nyoko nyoko. Tread carefully when around him.
Pablo: After he spilled the beans on the construction industry, he became a marked man. Hiding away in Bagamoyo TZ after he received death threats. This is why kamepotea kabisaaaa.
A4aarchitect: Was a humble dude offering free mawaidhas while his office was in Kinoo. After he made his first 50m he upgraded in Karen and silly wazoo and its cheap discussions all of a sudden were beneath him. Still lurks through Wazoo once in a blue moon on the dash screen of his S-class while in Ngong road traffic
Shak Works for Physical planning office at Nairobi County HQ. The go to guy when you need to get approvals for your mbao hen house.
Swenani: Humble mzito with a sense of humour. Another one you should not underestimate. But loves the bottle and slay queen a litro too much.
mawinder: Half karashinga with very informative posts. Rumoured to be connected to the underworld
young Millenial in a hurry to get ahead. Asks all the right questions but a little bit naive. Time should sort him out.
tom_boy: A butch girl who likes yellow yellow tumatunda girlies. Can angusha vodka like any man, belches and all
maundiwambeu A harmless looking but dangerous man. Huyu njamaa made hay while the sun shone while he was in ngava. Quietly retired in his sprawling 60m 12 room manse on Kangundo road. Is always spotted near Harambee house trying to get someone to hook him back on the tenders gravy train for old times sake.
Alpha-doti Mkosti with rags on his head always heading huyooo to Jamia Mosque. His favourite book is the Christian Bible. Has a neglected camel farm in Garissa but since his cousin is Duale he would rather stick in Nairofi and piga gumzo about nothing under a grevillea tree with his fellow waisilamu.
tony_stark: One of the most interesting cheps on Wazoo. This man had been deported from Belgium about a decade ago. Nobody knows what he does for a living. Matusi nayo? Expert ni yeye. He learned the hard way while dealing drugs in Brussels rough streets. Speaks french fluently and always bears baggy jeans and shades. His hero is Jowie. Frequently seen at Kiza.

Na gama yako haiko haiko
Hizi ni maoni yangu tu!


Just one thread I started and I made it to the list.d'oh! d'oh!
Learning to sit on my hands
Spikes
#17 Posted : Sunday, January 06, 2019 7:48:30 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 9/20/2015
Posts: 2,811
Location: Mombasa
ombaalbt wrote:
MugundaMan wrote:
Having been a member for about a year (after 10 years of lurking) these are my impressions of Wazoo-ans of note (so far).

maka: sharp, sober, a little arrogant but generally a good citizen.
tycho: an enigma but not in a good way. Tries too hard to sound smart but his rambling posts betray him. Would be very interesting to meet this chap in person. He is probably 4 ft 3 with a monster tumbo but gentle mien in real life.
hardwood Dependable, smart, forward looking. Hana maneno mengi. When he "speaks" on Wazoo, he has something important to say. But a bit detached and aloof on matters of national interest.
Double A: I am scared to bump into this mama in real life. Most probably pushing 60, rotund with a brash loud voice that grates the ear. Talking to her will be like talking to the wind. You ask her, "So how is your day going so far?" and she will respond with "Panganga yako ni ya nini? But we moved the capital to Dodoma!" Don't respond. Just put as much distance as you can between yourself and her without trying too much to figure out where Dodoma came into the picture.
BigChick: as her name says, ni ka-momo but a friendly one. Catch her on Ngong road in her spandex with headphones huyooooo jogging away year in year out. BUt well respected in the corporate circles in Juja where she knows all the major mucene about who made what money where. If you are a corporate dude in Juja be very afraid.
Gathige Mzee wa kijiji sitting on a three legged stool. One of the most sober and progressive chaps on Wazoo. But I have a niggling feeling that he zero grazes 20 dairy goats behind his manse in beautiful Kiserian. To be sold to kaburus in Karen who consider goat cheese a miracle food.
S Mutaga III As his name suggests, he is the third generation of a long line of well known stock market gurus. He can be spotted near Odeon in his red jacket, brown shoes and godpapa hat eating chips with a toothpick very early in the morning right before he treks to his office at University Way to trade stocks furiously.
Lolest A tall lanky chap with a cheshire cat grin and polite demeanor. Can be spotted at Nairobi chapel leading worship with very vigorous mtingizo juu chini juu chini until his clothes are soaked in sweat. His daytime job is insurance sales. Kafielder ka-brue KAZ is what he is seen rolling in day in day out.
Mukiri This man is not a man you want to meet in a dark alley at night! Toivo is his food 24/7. You wil catch a whiff of Sportsman sigara mixed with it if you are unfortunate enough to be nearby when he opens his mouth. 6 wives and 34 kids. All of the kids are named Boi for simplicity purposes (memory).
Ericsson He used to be "first body" in primo so he carries that confidence wherever he posts on Wazoo. Elaborate discussions are for wimps to him. Everything must be answered with a one liner befitting a first body who can clobber you any time into agreeing with him.
Spikes: The man trades bitcoin from his Tecno smart phone while sitting in his bedsitter in Mwiki. Always dresses sharply in dapper suits when you spot him in town with his briefcase. A woman client of his almost collapsed in mirth when she discovered that there were nails, hammer and other equipment inside the suitcase of the sharply dressed carpenter she had called to come fix her table.
oombalbt: Too trusting. Lends to relatives and relatives fuaaaa and ends up holding the bag.
SuperPrime1 A tall muscular chap with an arrogant air as he traipses through town. Sneers at peons and paupers on online forums who are not as rich as he is. At night retreats to his mabati shack at Mukuru kwa Reuben that he rents. Petty Ngeta is how he makes ends meet.
Wukan: Walks with a little bit of a gay swing but is generally very well organised in all he does. Hates dust with a passion. Writes long reports for Cytonn about billion shilling skyscrapers. But owns nothing. A stereotypical talker, zero action.
Sparkly Usimuone hivi hivi this man is a big shot businessman who gambles on NSE for the heck of it. Usiku find him at Rafikiz with two leggy slay queens buying rounds of Johnny Walker like it was nothing to him while mama watoto eats sukuma with sembe plain, no meat.
ngogoyo: A short slim lady who likes knitting home alone to pass time.
Obiero Phd, Esq, MBA, Fil.Cons, Wandex online owner bululu twafff! This is another silent killer. Do not let the big empty digiriris fool ya. Kanjamaa kana blocks of flats littered all over South B, dustbowl and beyond. Ukali nayo? Can slash you juu chini with a panga if you leta nyoko nyoko. Tread carefully when around him.
Pablo: After he spilled the beans on the construction industry, he became a marked man. Hiding away in Bagamoyo TZ after he received death threats. This is why kamepotea kabisaaaa.
A4aarchitect: Was a humble dude offering free mawaidhas while his office was in Kinoo. After he made his first 50m he upgraded in Karen and silly wazoo and its cheap discussions all of a sudden were beneath him. Still lurks through Wazoo once in a blue moon on the dash screen of his S-class while in Ngong road traffic
Shak Works for Physical planning office at Nairobi County HQ. The go to guy when you need to get approvals for your mbao hen house.
Swenani: Humble mzito with a sense of humour. Another one you should not underestimate. But loves the bottle and slay queen a litro too much.
mawinder: Half karashinga with very informative posts. Rumoured to be connected to the underworld
young Millenial in a hurry to get ahead. Asks all the right questions but a little bit naive. Time should sort him out.
tom_boy: A butch girl who likes yellow yellow tumatunda girlies. Can angusha vodka like any man, belches and all
maundiwambeu A harmless looking but dangerous man. Huyu njamaa made hay while the sun shone while he was in ngava. Quietly retired in his sprawling 60m 12 room manse on Kangundo road. Is always spotted near Harambee house trying to get someone to hook him back on the tenders gravy train for old times sake.
Alpha-doti Mkosti with rags on his head always heading huyooo to Jamia Mosque. His favourite book is the Christian Bible. Has a neglected camel farm in Garissa but since his cousin is Duale he would rather stick in Nairofi and piga gumzo about nothing under a grevillea tree with his fellow waisilamu.
tony_stark: One of the most interesting cheps on Wazoo. This man had been deported from Belgium about a decade ago. Nobody knows what he does for a living. Matusi nayo? Expert ni yeye. He learned the hard way while dealing drugs in Brussels rough streets. Speaks french fluently and always bears baggy jeans and shades. His hero is Jowie. Frequently seen at Kiza.

Na gama yako haiko haiko
Hizi ni maoni yangu tu!


Just one thread I started and I made it to the list.d'oh! d'oh!


...."I made it to the list."
Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
John 5:17 But Jesus replied, “My Father is always working, and so am I.”
Swenani
#18 Posted : Sunday, January 06, 2019 1:47:03 PM
Rank: User


Joined: 8/15/2013
Posts: 13,231
Location: Vacuum
Spikes wrote:
ombaalbt wrote:
MugundaMan wrote:
Having been a member for about a year (after 10 years of lurking) these are my impressions of Wazoo-ans of note (so far).

maka: sharp, sober, a little arrogant but generally a good citizen.
tycho: an enigma but not in a good way. Tries too hard to sound smart but his rambling posts betray him. Would be very interesting to meet this chap in person. He is probably 4 ft 3 with a monster tumbo but gentle mien in real life.
hardwood Dependable, smart, forward looking. Hana maneno mengi. When he "speaks" on Wazoo, he has something important to say. But a bit detached and aloof on matters of national interest.
Double A: I am scared to bump into this mama in real life. Most probably pushing 60, rotund with a brash loud voice that grates the ear. Talking to her will be like talking to the wind. You ask her, "So how is your day going so far?" and she will respond with "Panganga yako ni ya nini? But we moved the capital to Dodoma!" Don't respond. Just put as much distance as you can between yourself and her without trying too much to figure out where Dodoma came into the picture.
BigChick: as her name says, ni ka-momo but a friendly one. Catch her on Ngong road in her spandex with headphones huyooooo jogging away year in year out. BUt well respected in the corporate circles in Juja where she knows all the major mucene about who made what money where. If you are a corporate dude in Juja be very afraid.
Gathige Mzee wa kijiji sitting on a three legged stool. One of the most sober and progressive chaps on Wazoo. But I have a niggling feeling that he zero grazes 20 dairy goats behind his manse in beautiful Kiserian. To be sold to kaburus in Karen who consider goat cheese a miracle food.
S Mutaga III As his name suggests, he is the third generation of a long line of well known stock market gurus. He can be spotted near Odeon in his red jacket, brown shoes and godpapa hat eating chips with a toothpick very early in the morning right before he treks to his office at University Way to trade stocks furiously.
Lolest A tall lanky chap with a cheshire cat grin and polite demeanor. Can be spotted at Nairobi chapel leading worship with very vigorous mtingizo juu chini juu chini until his clothes are soaked in sweat. His daytime job is insurance sales. Kafielder ka-brue KAZ is what he is seen rolling in day in day out.
Mukiri This man is not a man you want to meet in a dark alley at night! Toivo is his food 24/7. You wil catch a whiff of Sportsman sigara mixed with it if you are unfortunate enough to be nearby when he opens his mouth. 6 wives and 34 kids. All of the kids are named Boi for simplicity purposes (memory).
Ericsson He used to be "first body" in primo so he carries that confidence wherever he posts on Wazoo. Elaborate discussions are for wimps to him. Everything must be answered with a one liner befitting a first body who can clobber you any time into agreeing with him.
Spikes: The man trades bitcoin from his Tecno smart phone while sitting in his bedsitter in Mwiki. Always dresses sharply in dapper suits when you spot him in town with his briefcase. A woman client of his almost collapsed in mirth when she discovered that there were nails, hammer and other equipment inside the suitcase of the sharply dressed carpenter she had called to come fix her table.
oombalbt: Too trusting. Lends to relatives and relatives fuaaaa and ends up holding the bag.
SuperPrime1 A tall muscular chap with an arrogant air as he traipses through town. Sneers at peons and paupers on online forums who are not as rich as he is. At night retreats to his mabati shack at Mukuru kwa Reuben that he rents. Petty Ngeta is how he makes ends meet.
Wukan: Walks with a little bit of a gay swing but is generally very well organised in all he does. Hates dust with a passion. Writes long reports for Cytonn about billion shilling skyscrapers. But owns nothing. A stereotypical talker, zero action.
Sparkly Usimuone hivi hivi this man is a big shot businessman who gambles on NSE for the heck of it. Usiku find him at Rafikiz with two leggy slay queens buying rounds of Johnny Walker like it was nothing to him while mama watoto eats sukuma with sembe plain, no meat.
ngogoyo: A short slim lady who likes knitting home alone to pass time.
Obiero Phd, Esq, MBA, Fil.Cons, Wandex online owner bululu twafff! This is another silent killer. Do not let the big empty digiriris fool ya. Kanjamaa kana blocks of flats littered all over South B, dustbowl and beyond. Ukali nayo? Can slash you juu chini with a panga if you leta nyoko nyoko. Tread carefully when around him.
Pablo: After he spilled the beans on the construction industry, he became a marked man. Hiding away in Bagamoyo TZ after he received death threats. This is why kamepotea kabisaaaa.
A4aarchitect: Was a humble dude offering free mawaidhas while his office was in Kinoo. After he made his first 50m he upgraded in Karen and silly wazoo and its cheap discussions all of a sudden were beneath him. Still lurks through Wazoo once in a blue moon on the dash screen of his S-class while in Ngong road traffic
Shak Works for Physical planning office at Nairobi County HQ. The go to guy when you need to get approvals for your mbao hen house.
Swenani: Humble mzito with a sense of humour. Another one you should not underestimate. But loves the bottle and slay queen a litro too much.
mawinder: Half karashinga with very informative posts. Rumoured to be connected to the underworld
young Millenial in a hurry to get ahead. Asks all the right questions but a little bit naive. Time should sort him out.
tom_boy: A butch girl who likes yellow yellow tumatunda girlies. Can angusha vodka like any man, belches and all
maundiwambeu A harmless looking but dangerous man. Huyu njamaa made hay while the sun shone while he was in ngava. Quietly retired in his sprawling 60m 12 room manse on Kangundo road. Is always spotted near Harambee house trying to get someone to hook him back on the tenders gravy train for old times sake.
Alpha-doti Mkosti with rags on his head always heading huyooo to Jamia Mosque. His favourite book is the Christian Bible. Has a neglected camel farm in Garissa but since his cousin is Duale he would rather stick in Nairofi and piga gumzo about nothing under a grevillea tree with his fellow waisilamu.
tony_stark: One of the most interesting cheps on Wazoo. This man had been deported from Belgium about a decade ago. Nobody knows what he does for a living. Matusi nayo? Expert ni yeye. He learned the hard way while dealing drugs in Brussels rough streets. Speaks french fluently and always bears baggy jeans and shades. His hero is Jowie. Frequently seen at Kiza.

Na gama yako haiko haiko
Hizi ni maoni yangu tu!


Just one thread I started and I made it to the list.d'oh! d'oh!


...."I made it to the list."
Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly


Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
Quote:
Spikes: The man trades bitcoin from his Tecno smart phone while sitting in his bedsitter in Mwiki. Always dresses sharply in dapper suits when you spot him in town with his briefcase. A woman client of his almost collapsed in mirth when she discovered that there were nails, hammer and other equipment inside the suitcase of the sharply dressed carpenter she had called to come fix her table.

If Obiero did it, Who Am I?
AlphDoti
#19 Posted : Tuesday, January 08, 2019 4:08:21 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 6/20/2008
Posts: 6,274
Location: Kenya
All the 3 statements about me are all false. I told Mukiri one time when he tried to go tribal way that he can be so shocked to know my tribe... try again...
masukuma
#20 Posted : Tuesday, January 08, 2019 4:42:43 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 10/4/2006
Posts: 13,820
Location: Nairobi
AlphDoti wrote:
All the 3 statements about me are all false. I told Mukiri one time when he tried to go tribal way that he can be so shocked to know my tribe... try again...

Alph is not a Mkosti... he was not even raised in a muslim home. I would not be shocked to find that he is Al Amin Kimathi! A msapere who has converted.
All Mushrooms are edible! Some Mushroom are only edible ONCE!
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